Tonight, I’d like to talk to the single ladies out there for a bit. It doesn’t matter how old you are; if you’re a single adult woman, it most likely feels like you may NEVER meet and marry Mr. Right. I know, because I’ve been in your shoes!
I remember being in my early 20’s feeling like an Old Maid! All my friends were getting married and having kids and I wasn’t even dating anyone. Before long, I was the only single young adult in our church! Needless to say, this was not fun, especially when well-meaning elders would come up to me and ask me when I was going to get married myself. I would just smile and politely reply, “When the Lord brings the right person my way.”
Yet, I wasn’t all that confident on the inside. I was lonely, and I longed for a man who I had never met. I did date a little here and there, but became even more discouraged when the relationships didn’t work out.
I’m not proud to admit this, but I actually got to a place where I was angry at God. I felt like he was playing some kind of mean trick on me. I mean, I felt like the Lord promised me a husband and a family of my own someday. Yet, here I was, still single with no one around that I could even consider as marrage material.
I remember one day in church, the service was one of those where the presence of God just saturated the place. Everyone around me was lost in worship. I wanted to worship too, but I felt like I had a stone sitting on my heart. I just couldn’t bring my self to do it, so I knelt at the alter instead. I told the Lord “Okay, God. If this is how you want it, then fine. I will stay single.” I had a pretty bad attitude. I was angry. I was hurting.
As I knelt there, a deacon in our church came and sat beside me. He didn’t know anything about my situation. There was really no way for him to know. Yet, he leaned over and spoke to me. I will never forget the words he said, “Sis, the Lord would ask you a question. ‘Am I not enough?'”
At that moment, something in me broke. I realized I had been wanting a husband so badly, that I had put my relationship with God in second place. I had been feeling like my life was not complete and no, my God had not been enough for me. That is when I began to repent and I decided that God WAS enough! He was ALL that I needed.
That day, my perspective changed and I stopped searching for a husband. I stopped making that my goal in life! My goal was to please the Lord and let him bring the right man into my life in HIS perfect timing.
Not too long after that, the Lord brought these scriptures to my remembrance:
“Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favor of the Lord.” (Proverbs 18:22)
“Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.” (Proverbs 31:10-12)
I received a couple of amazing revelations from these verses. First, it is not MY job to find a husband. It is HIS job to find ME! When I understood this, it was like a huge weight had been lifted from off of my shoulders. If I truly believed God’s word, which I did, then I could just relax.
Secondly, verse 12 says, “she will do him good and not evil ALL the days of her life.” That means, even BEFORE she meets him, she will do him good! What an interesting thought!
So these two passages of scripture assigned a task to both my future husband and to me. My man’s job was to simply find me! My job was to pray for him daily, even though I didn’t know who he was. This was how I would do him good before we even met.
I can testify now that this strategy of getting a husband does work! I was 28 years old when I met my husband while visiting his church on a whim one Sunday morning. I wasn’t even supposed to be there that day. I was supposed to be at another church, but at the last minute, my plans changed.
My Babe came to me that Sunday morning and asked me to lunch. That was the beginning of our life together. And you know what? HE found ME! God just put me in his path.
I just want to encourage any single ladies out there who may be struggling. Maybe you’re lonely. Maybe you feel like giving up hope. I can’t pretend to know what God’s plans are for your life, but I do know that if you love the Lord and are obedient to him, he has promised to give you the desires of your heart. (Ps. 37:4-5) I challenge you to take God at his word and trust him, and above all else, put him FIRST. Whatever (and whomever) the Lord brings your way, if you do this, I promise you will not be disappointed!