I just received the news that my paternal grandmother passed away. It wasn’t unexpected. She had been sick for awhile.
I wish I could say that my grandma and I were close, but I can’t. As a matter of fact, I never felt very special to her, even though I was named after her, and I was her very first granddaughter out of about forty grandchildren. She had her favorites, and I was not one of them.
Growing up, I knew this very well, but oddly enough, it didn’t bother me too much. The only time I remember ever really being hurt was at Christmas time. We would visit their house a few days before the holiday and there would be a mountain of toys under the tree, but not one of them was for me or my sisters.
I did receive a gift from her one year for my birthday. A dirty second-hand doll. My parents just happened to bring me to her house on my special day and I told her it was my birthday, so she dug this doll out of a box or something she had in her house. How nice…
I know grandma didn’t dislike me, but I also know she didn’t really care much about me either. I think she was more indifferent than anything. She also knew that I had a relationship with God and her own lifestyle was silently condemned by the one that I was leading, even as a child.
You see, I loved the Lord with all of my heart, and I knew and recognized, even at a young age, that my grandmother was dishonest and untrustworthy. I would often talk about the Lord in her presence and I think it made her uncomfortable. I truly believe that is why she didn’t have much to do with me. She was putting me at arms length to keep herself from feeling convicted.
As I grew up, though, whenever she needed prayer or someone to encourage her, it was strange how she came to me. If only she would have turned her life over to God in those times. I can’t tell you how many times I prayed with her and for the few years before she became ill. She would even cry and tell me “one day” should would give her life to God. Sadly, that “one day” never came for her.
So this weekend, my dad, mother, and sister and I will be making the trip to her funeral. They do not live for the Lord either. I pray that somehow all of this will get into their souls and they will turn their lives over to God. Maybe the Lord can use this tragedy of a wasted life to save them… I pray so.
“Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.” (James 4:14)
You see, life is so short! The bible says it is only a vapor. Like steam off of boiling water, you see if for a moment, and then it’s gone.
I am concerned for those who say “one day I’ll give my life to God.” What is wrong with TODAY? Today is here and we are not promised tomorrow!
I tried to convince my grandma of this many times. She just nodded and said, “I know.” She would cry and feel sorry for her sins, but she never committed her life to God. She would never make the choice to change. I see this in many others like her, and I just do not understand it.
My life living for God is so sweet and fulfilled. I look at people like my grandma and I cannot understand what the attraction is. All I see in them is misery and sin. I do not see happiness or joy. I see someone locked up in chains.
Life is a vapor… it is here and then it is gone. I want my short life to have meaning and fulfillment. The only way to have it is through Jesus Christ.