So Christmas has past and what a blessed one it has been. I know it sounds cliche and a bit cheesy, but I really am so thankful for all God has given me. A wonderful husband, children and a beautiful home. Not to mention salvation and peace in knowing him.
I grew up in a home that was full of chaos. Christmas was not usually a joyous occasion. It was hectic at best and a battle ground at worst. My parents were given to yelling at us and each other. My sisters and I were used to it and didn’t think much of it, but as I got older, I realized how stressful it was and how ouch it affected me.
When I moved out on my own, I dreaded going back home for holidays. I had created a quiet and peaceful life for myself, and it was turned upside down in just a few hours of being with my family.
When I got married and moved two states away, I thought I would miss Christmas with my family, I did miss it in a way, every time I made the effort to go and visit them, I came away feeling heavy and depressed.
This past year, a lot has changed with my family of origins. One major change is that my parents got divorced, and even more is my mother is remarried. Even though it has been building up for years, this came as a shock to my system.
So this year as Christmas approached, I decided I would not allow guilt and disappointment from my past to haunt me. Instead, I chose to focus on making happy memories and new traditions with my husband and children.
I’m 38 years old. My childhood seems a lifetime ago. Although it played a huge part in who I am today, it does not define me.
This realization has really helped me this Christmas. I was free to truly enjoy my home and family without feeling the guilt of not including my family of origins or without too much disappointment that they don’t have their act together enough to send a simple Christmas card.
I am still working through a lot of things where they are concerned but I have come such a long way over the years. I am not the same person I was 10 years ago. This is a cause for me to celebrate, because it is proof that God still works Miracles!
To sum it up, Christmas was so special this year. It was Little Mister’s first Christmas, as well as mine truly letting go of the past and reaching forward towards the future.
I’m looking forward to 2020 and all the blessings and lessons it holds.